Not that, sir! Let that be! I adjure you,
do not recall that!'
His cry was so like a cry of actual pain,
that it rang in Charles Darnay's ears long after he had ceased. He motioned
with the hand he had extended, and it seemed to be an appeal to Darnay to
pause. The latter so received it, and remained silent.
`I ask your pardon,' said the Doctor, in a
subdued tone, after some moments. `I do not doubt your loving Lucie; you may be
satisfied of it.'
He turned towards him in his chair, but did
not look at him, or raise his eyes. His chin dropped upon his hand, and his
white hair overshadowed his face:
`Have you spoken to Lucie?'
`No.'
`Nor written?'
`Never.'
`It would be ungenerous to affect not to
know that your self-denial is to be referred to your consideration for her
father. Her father thanks you.
He offered his hand; but his eyes did not
go with it.
`I know,' said Darnay, respectfully, `how
can I fail to know, Doctor Manette, I who have seen you together from day to
day, that between you and Miss Manette there is an affection so unusual, so
touching, so belonging to the circumstances in which it has been nurtured, that
it can have few parallels, even in the tenderness between a father and child. I
know, Dr. Manette--how can I fail to know--that, mingled with the affection and
duty of a daughter who has become a woman, there is, in her heart, towards you,
all the love and reliance of infancy itself. I know that, as in her childhood
she had no parent, so she is now devoted to you with all the constancy and
fervour of her present years and character, united to the trustfulness and
attachment of the early days in which you were lost to her. I know perfectly
well that if you had been restored to her from the world beyond this life, you
could hardly be invested, in her sight, with a more sacred character than that
in which you are always with her. I know that when she is clinging to you, the
hands of baby, girl, and woman, all in one, are round your neck. I know that in
loving you she sees and loves her mother at her own age, sees and loves you at
my age, loves her mother broken+hearted, loves you through your dreadful trial
and in your blessed restoration. I have known this, night and day, since I have
known you in your home.'
Her father sat silent, with his face bent
down. His breathing was a little quickened; but he repressed all other signs of
agitation.
`Dear Doctor manette always knowing this,
always seeing her and you with this hallowed light about you, I have forborne,
and forborne, as long as it was in the nature of man to do it. I have felt, and
do even now feel, that to bring my love--even mine--between you, is to touch
your history with something not quite so good as itself. But I love her. Heaven
is my witness that I love her!'
`I believe it,' answered her father,
mournfully. `I have thought so before now. I believe it.'
`But, do not
believe,' said Darnay, upon whose ear the mournful voice struck with a
reproachful sound, `that if my fortune were so cast as that, being one day so
happy as to make her my wife, I must at any time put any separation between her
and you, I could or would breathe a word of what I now say. Besides that I
should know it to be hopeless, I should know it to be a baseness. If I had any
such possibility, even at a remote distance of years, harboured in my thoughts,
and `hidden in my heart--if it ever had been there--if it ever could be
there--I could not now touch this honoured hand.'
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